Dan and Phil Take On Hogwarts
by writerlester
Summary: Dan Howell and Phil Lester take on Hogwarts together! With Dan in Slytherin and Phil in Hufflepuff, along with Phil's eccentric ferret Susan, a kooky headmaster named Felix Kjellberg, and a whole cast of crazy characters, what could go wrong? (Phan Hogwarts AU. Rated for Dan's filthy mouth.)
1. Chapter 1

Dan was counting down from ten in the back of his mind. His patience was wearing thin, as well as his tolerance for being surrounded by other people.

The boy seated next to him-Andrew or Alex, he wasn't really paying attention-was _right_ next to him, attempting to tell him a story about his summer vacation. The only problem? Andy was right next to his neck, a sensitive area, and spittle was flying from his mouth onto Dan's skin. He was already cringing inwardly.

Abruptly, Dan stood up, cutting Austin off midsentence. "Sorry. I-uh, forgot something." Dan sped out of the train compartment, staring down the hallway.

He'd almost forgotten in his haste to stop the spittle monster that he was actually on his way to Hogwarts. It was expected, after all-Dan had grown up learning about the magical school from his pureblood parents. Although he was excited to attend and learn, he was a bit hesitant about being around so many people all the time. He needed his space.

Starting down the hall, he started peeking in the train compartments to find an empty one. So far his search was unsuccessful, but he stopped when he heard a faint _thud_.

"The hell was that?" he muttered, striding toward a compartment near the back of the train, the source of the noise. He peeked inside and his eyes widened.

A trunk had fallen off the rack over the seats, and clothes were everywhere. The first thing he registered was all the pastels and bright colors this person wore. Then the trunk itself wiggled, and Dan reeled back.

A head popped out from under the trunk. "Oh. Hello!"

It was a black-haired boy with the bluest eyes Dan had ever seen. He couldn't recall ever seeing this boy before. Wherever he was from, it wasn't sunny, judging by his abnormally pale skin.

When Dan realized this kid was waiting for a reply, he blinked. "Oh. Uh. Hi. Are you...are you okay?"

Seeming to just now realize his predicament, the boy looked down at himself. "Oh, yes, this happens often. Thanks for your concern! I'm Phil, what's your name?" He didn't even bother to try to unearth himself. He just laid there, beaming up at Dan.

"...Dan," he finally replied. "Do you want some help? It can't be comfortable under that trunk."

To Dan's surprise, the boy blushed slightly. "Actually, I think I'll just stay down here. It's actually quite nice."

Dan arched a brow. "Really?"

Phil nodded, a little too enthusiastically. "Really!"

In one swift motion, Dan stooped down and tugged on Phil's arm, yanking him out of the mound of clothes…

...and shrieked.

"W-Why aren't you wearing any clothes?!" Dan screeched, quickly turning around and the tips of his ears going red.

"I was trying to change into the robes we're supposed to wear, but my trunk fell," Phil reported sadly. "Now I can't find them in this mass of clothes…" Dan could faintly hear Phil rummaging through the mess.

"Oh, for Christ's sake," Dan grumbled, turning around and starting to sift through the disaster. This wasn't exactly how he'd pictured his first day at Hogwarts-helping a boy wearing only his _underwear_ sort through his clothes.

Suddenly, the clothes next to his foot shifted. Dan froze. "Um, Phil-"

Something furry and definitely alive suddenly scampered up Dan's pant leg, making him scream so high-pitched Phil covered his ears.

"GET IT OFF!" Dan fell onto the ground, shaking his leg up and down while still shrieking.

"Okay! Hold on, let me-" Phil started.

"It's trying to get in my _fucking underwear_ -stop-shit!" Dan let out a string of curses as Phil helplessly started yanking on Dan's pants.

"Don't pull my pants off!"

"But Susan-"

"Who the bloody hell is _Susan?!"_

Both boys were so preoccupied they didn't hear the door swing open as a female voice started, "Why did someone screa-"

The pair froze as they turned toward a blonde stationed in the doorway. They realized how this might look and both turned beet red.

"Uh-"

"We-"

The girl burst out laughing. "Okay guys, pretty sure this goes without saying, but no hanky-panky on the train, okay?"

She grinned as the two only gaped at her. "I'm Louise. A prefect in my fifth year." She tapped on her badge next to her Hufflepuff colors. "Just find me if you have any questions." Louise was still grinning. "I'll leave you to it, then."

As the door slid shut, silence fell and Dan realized Phil had pulled the furry whatever-it-was out of his pants.

It was a bloody _ferret._

"Meet Susan," Phil said proudly, as if the damned creature hadn't just tried to mate with Dan's underwear. "She's very sensitive, so be nice."

Dan groaned and dropped his face in his hands. At least the first day couldn't get any weirder, right?

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A few hours later, Dan and Phil were both successfully changed into their Hogwarts robes, minus the House colors. Phil was a Muggle-born, so after helping him clean up his clothes, Dan had tried to explain the different Hogwarts houses.

"So what House do you think you'll be in?" Phil asked, juggling the demon ferret around in his hands. "Hufflepuff sounds pretty good to me. I'd like to be next to the kitchens as well." He grinned.

Dan shrugged. "Most of my family has been in Slytherin, but who knows? My mum was a Ravenclaw, and my dad's brothers were in Gryffindor. I really don't mind. They all sound great."

"Susan would like any House," Phil stated proudly, holding the ferret aloft. "She gets along well with badgers, though. I once had several badgers. They were named Belinda, Billy, Bobby, Brenda, Barry, and Thor…" Phil proceeded to tell Dan about the horrors of letting pet badgers outside.

He tried to keep a straight face, but he finally started laughing. "Okay, Phil, but who keeps badgers as pets? And why, for Christ's sake, would you name them Betty?"

"Belinda."

"Whatever. What kind of weird animals do you horde?"

To Dan's surprise, instead of getting offended, Phil just laughed. "Yeah, it's a little weird, I guess, but they were so cute. They would've liked you, Dan."

Dan scoffed. "I don't keep pets."

"Aw, come on! You should get one. You'd like it."

"Phil, no."

"But-"

Just then, the whistle sounded, signalling to the boys that the train had arrived. Dan had momentarily forgotten his panic while talking to Phil, but his stomach suddenly felt like bees were mating inside of it.

"Dan, you don't look too well."

"Gee, thanks, Phil."

Phil inspected him, frowning. "Are you sick?"

Dan scooted back slightly. "No...just...nervous, I suppose."

Phil brightened. "Oh! You don't have to be nervous, Dan! Everyone here will be super nice!" He stood, lifting his trunk down and pulling Dan to his feet. "Come on. We've got people to meet, and friends to make."

"Friends?" Dan stuttered, surprised, as Phil yanked him out of the compartment, following the flow of traffic.

Phil looked back at him and grinned. "Sure! You've already made one, right? We're friends now, aren't we?"

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As they walked closer and closer to the grand castle, Dan took the time to reflect on what a crazy day he'd had so far, and he wasn't even inside the castle yet. But what about later? Would he fit in with the other kids okay? What if Phil decided not to be friends anymore, and no one talked to him? What if he couldn't keep up with his classes? What if…

He was shaken out of his thoughts when Phil tugged on his sleeve. "Dan! Look! We get to ride in those!" He was pointing excitedly at small boats waiting to carry them across the lake. Dan's gut twisted. _Oh, fuck._

"This is so cool, Dan! Maybe there'll be fish!" As Phil excitedly speculated about there being magic fish, Susan jumped off of his head and onto Dan's shoulder. After about a five-second panic attack, Dan turned to the furball on his shoulder, and he could've sworn it winked at him. The next thing he knew, he was being pulled into a boat with Phil and two other guys.

"Hello!" Phil smiled brightly at the two others. "I'm Phil and this is Dan. What's your name?"

"I'm PJ," the first one announced. "Future Ravenclaw," he added proudly. "At least, that's the plan."

"I'm Chris," replied the second one, digging into his pockets. "Oi, Peej, have you seen Remy?"

"Not since he crawled up your pants."

"Who's Remy?" Phil asked.

"Pet rat. Named him after a Muggle film. My dad's a wizard, mum's a Muggle. She always liked Muggle films and Dad thought they were the craziest things." As Chris spoke, he kept digging around in his robes until a scruffy rat was proudly presented.

"Nice ferret," PJ commented, nodding toward Dan, who hadn't spoken yet.

"Oh, Susan? She's not mine, she's Phil's." Dan tried to give the ferret back, but she dug into Dan's shoulder and refused to budge.

Phil laughed. "She likes you, Dan. Told you animals liked you."

"Bloody hell, Phil, I'm not taking care of a damn ferret."

"Dan, be nice, I told you she's sensitive."

"Phil. She's a ferret."

"A ferret with _feelings,_ Dan."

PJ burst out laughing. "I see you two get along quite well. How long have you been friends?"

Dan groaned. "We met a few hours ago."

PJ and Chris laughed the entire way to Hogwarts.

As the lot entered the main hall, a professor told them to hush as the Headmaster solemnly stood at the front.

"Who's that?" Phil whispered.

"That's the Headmaster, the most well-known wizard in the wizarding world," Dan whispered back. "Felix Kjellberg, a Swedish wizard. He also has the most subscribers."

"What?"

But then Professor Kjellberg started to speak. "Welcome to Hogwarts! I look forward to another fabulous year with my bros!" He smiled out at the students. "Which is you, by the way. Now, a few words! _Dumfan! Fitta! Horunge! Javla!_ Now eat!" He sat back down.

"What'd he say?" wondered Phil.

"No one ever knows." Chris strained his eyes to the tables. "Those must be where the four Houses sit."

"Cool! Dan, look! That guy is making those pastries float!"

"Phil, it's a fucking magic school, what did you expect?"

"I want to learn how to make pastries float, so they can float right into my mouth." Phil went on. "What are you looking forward to?"

Dan thought for a moment. "Sleeping."

"Da-an."

Just then, the professor came back to the gathering of nervous first-years. "Yes, listen. I'm Professor Dawson, and you will be called in alphabetical order up to the Sorting Hat. Put it on your head, find which House you'll be in." He smiled. "All Houses are good Houses, so have fun."

Dan could practically feel his gut stabbing itself as his peers went up one by one to the rather disheveled hat. What if it didn't give him a House? What if it told him there was a mistake? What if…

Phil nudged him and gave him a smile. "It'll be fine, Dan," he whispered. "Don't worry. You'll get a House and we'll have a great time here, okay?"

Dan nodded, unclenching his fists. "Right."

"You, me, and Susan." Phil affectionately patted Susan's head.

Then… "Howell, Daniel!"

Dan gulped as he made his way up to the hat-without tripping, thank God-and sat as the Sorting Hat was lowered onto his head.

 _Hmm_ , the hat was quiet for a moment. _Great potential in you, boy. You have the ability to do so much. But do you have the ambition to do it?_

Dan squeezed his eyes shut. Was he supposed to answer?

 _Quick-witted, sarcastic, slightly mouthy_ , the hat continued. _But loyal, committed to whatever you take on, and you work hard...even if you have a tendency to procrastinate. I've decided._

The hat opened its mouth. "SLYTHERIN!"

A loud burst of applause came from the tables as the hat was taken off Dan's head and his eyes turned to the far left table, where people in green scarves waved at him with bright eyes.

He sat in a daze, not even aware of the others giving him pats on the back and welcoming messages. He watched Phil take the stand a few minutes later.

After just a few moments, the hat blurted: "HUFFLEPUFF!"

Loud cheers came from the table right next to Slytherin's as Phil trotted over and sat exactly opposite the aisle from Dan. Susan jumped off Dan's shoulder and gracefully landed atop Phil's head. Dan had forgotten the damned thing was even on his shoulder. Oh, God, did I go up to the front with Susan on me?

As he groaned, Phil turned to grin at him. "We did it, Dan! We're officially Hogwarts students."

Dan couldn't help but to give him a smile back. "Yeah...I guess we are, aren't we?"

"Are you still nervous?"

"No. Just a little overwhelmed, I suppose."

"Overwhelmed? Why?"

"Well, Phil, someone has to keep you out of trouble, don't they?" Dan smirked at the opposite boy. "And I've decided that's going to be my job while we're here."

A slow smile spread across Phil's face, and he offered his hand to Dan. "Alright, then, it's a deal. You'll keep me out of trouble and I'll keep you from staying in your bed all year."

Dan took his hand and shook it. "It's a deal."

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 **So here you go! I posted this story on my Tumblr, but decided to let you all read it as well.**

 **Tell me what you think and I may continue! I have a lot of ideas for this story.**

 **Bye now.**


	2. Chapter 2

The sound of someone's laugh woke Dan with a start. He'd been convinced he wouldn't be able to sleep, but he'd slept like a log. His blurry eyes looked about the dormitory. The other boys were getting dressed and one was laughing at an explosion of clothes over a nearby trunk. Someone must've played a prank.

Dan sat up, rubbing his face sleepily. Today was his first day of classes, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't nervous. Slowly climbing out of bed, he nearly pissed himself when he brushed against something furry.

His suspicions were confirmed when he threw the covers back and discovered a sleepy Susan.

He groaned. "Susan, how the hell did you get here?"

She merely yawned and blinked her eyes up at him.

After getting dressed in his new robes, he offered his arm to Susan, who jumped on, and headed downstairs. Opening the door to the common room, he was surprised for the second time that morning to find a cheery Phil standing there, waiting for him.

"Good morning, Dan!" he chirped. "I see you found Susan. She disappeared last night, and I thought she'd went to check on you."

Dan pulled the still-sleepy ferret off of his head and inspected her. "How did she find me?"

"Susan's very smart," Phil informed him proudly, as Susan wriggled out of Dan's grip and onto Phil's shoulder. "If you're ever in a pinch, Susan can help."

Dan snorted. "I'd have to be in quite the predicament to rely on a _ferret."_

But as they walked down to breakfast, he could've sworn the eyes that stared at him from Susan were reproachful.

Sitting down to eat, Dan started heaping pounds of food onto his plate. He was trying to dispel the knot growing in his stomach. Was it possible to feel so nervous?

"What's your first class for today?" Phil asked between a mouthful of pancake.

"Care of Magical Creatures. I think it's a double class, with another House."

Phil nodded. "It's with Hufflepuff. That's my first class, too."

Dan tried not to show the relief he felt, but Susan's eyes gleamed at him, and he felt the animal was laughing at him.

"I'm looking forward to it," Phil continued. "Think of all the magic animals! They'll be like Susan!"

It was hard not to laugh at the look of excitement on Phil's face. He obviously loved animals. "Susan isn't magic, though."

"Yes, she is!" Phil cried indignantly.

"What's magic about her, then?"

He pondered that. "I don't know. But she's magic. Can't you feel it?"

Dan did have to admit there was something uncanny about the ferret. But he shook it off and offered the plate of sausages to Phil. "Want some?"

He shook his head. "I'm a vegetarian."

Dan was faintly surprised. "Oh, cool."

After finishing their meal, both realized the time was ticking down and headed off to get their things. Dan met Phil in front of the door leading down to the outdoor classroom, where Care of Magical Creatures would be held. No Susan balanced on his shoulder.

Dan pointed to his shoulder. "No Susan?"

"She doesn't want to mingle with the other animals yet. She's pretty tired." Phil explained.

"Sensible ferret," a voice spoke from behind them, and the pair whirled around to come face-to-face with the Headmaster.

Both boys quickly stiffened and nodded in respect as Professor Kjellberg continued. "Ferrets were always smart creatures. I have one myself, named Edgar. Hyperactive little thing."

"Um, good morning, Professor," Dan stammered.

He looked at Dan in surprise, as if he hadn't noticed the two standing there. "Oh, hello! Do you own a ferret?"

Dan shook his head.

"Really should get one," Professor Kjellberg mused. He looked at Phil, who was still standing there in awe. "You have a ferret?"

"Yes, her name is Susan," Phil answered. He pointed at the professor's robes. "I like your duck pin."

That made the man smile and look down fondly at the pin. "Do you? So do I. Weird creatures, ducks."

Phil laughed and Dan blinked. This man was their Headmaster? He seemed so...odd.

"Felix, what are you doing?" a female's voice spoke from behind Dan and Phil, and both turned to face a rather pretty professor. She had long hair and large brown eyes. Her hands were on her hips as she cocked a perfect eyebrow at the Headmaster. "Holding up students?"

"Not at all," Professor Kjellberg said lightly. "We were just discussing animals and my duck pin." He winked at the professor.

Her cheeks went red but she held her stern gaze. "Don't make students late, Felix," she answered and turned to the boys. "I'm Professor Marzia Bisognin; I teach Transfiguration." She studied the pair. "Were you on your way to class?"

"Yes, Care of Magical Creatures," Phil answered her.

"Well, that class has already started. Come, I'll take you to class and explain why you were late." She squinted at Professor Kjellberg. "Always cleaning up after you," she grumbled, but her eyes betrayed her laughter.

"Come up to my office sometime, Marzia," Professor Kjellberg blew her a kiss and drifted off. She shook her head, but her face was aflame.

Dan and Phil followed her down the green paths until they reached a large gathering of first-year Slytherins and Hufflepuffs. A male professor was at the front, but stopped midsentence as Professor Bisognin approached. "Hello, Marzia."

"Hello, Joey," she sighed, bringing Dan and Phil to her front. "I found Felix chatting with these two, that is why they're late. You know Felix."

"Indeed I do," the professor sighed dreamily, throwing a hand across his chest. "A _fine_ piece of man he is, too!" He exclaimed, but started to giggle. "Anyway, don't worry. Just leave them with me."

"Thank you, Joey." Professor Bisognin nodded at the group of students and left.

"I'm Professor Graceffa," the professor said brightly. "Today in Care of Magical Creatures, we're going to be tending to some nargles, discovered and named by…?"

A hand shot up from the group of Hufflepuffs. "Luna Lovegood, a famous witch inventor," came the answer.

"Thank you, Zoe. Ten points to Hufflepuff. Now, come look at them."

They huddled around the creatures. They were like a cross between small dragons and rabbits. Phil's face was lit up in bliss. He obviously adored the nargles.

One flew up from the pen. "Don't worry, class," Professor Graceffa said breezily. "They're quite temperamental, but harmless."

It flew around for a moment before coming to rest atop Phil's head. He giggled in excitement. "Dan, look! Maybe he wants to be my friend!"

Dan couldn't help but to laugh at the odd creature nesting on top of Phil's hair. "It looks more like he likes your hair for a nest, Phil."

It was a far more enjoyable first class than Dan had anticipated, he decided.

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While walking down from his last class of the day, Dan had promised to meet Phil at the Great Hall for dinner. But while he was heading down the many stairs of Hogwarts, he heard a whiz and a thud and many voices shrieking coming from outside.

His curiosity got the best of him, and he followed the noises to the source-a giant Quidditch field.

Dan had grown up knowing what Quidditch was, but he'd never taken a real interest in it. After all, he'd only been to a few matches before.

The noises had been the result of a boy being thrown off his broom because of a Bludger and was now lying on the ground. The captain knelt beside him, looking worried.

He then noticed it happened to be the Slytherin Quidditch team.

A boy noticed him standing there and walked over to him. "Who're you?" He asked, seeming friendly enough.

"Dan," he replied, his eyes still on the fallen boy. "Will he be all right?"

"Dunno." the boy's eyes looked worried. "We've got Quidditch matches to worry about. He was never really on board to play, and I'm worried this'll make him quit."

"What position does he play?"

"Chaser. Our captain, Joe Sugg, is the Keeper." He jerked his thumb toward the captain, who was now assisting the fallen boy to his feet. "I'm Caspar, by the way, Caspar Lee. Beater."

Dan shook his hand as Joe Sugg and another boy carried the injured guy away from the field.

For the next few days, Dan came out to watch them practice. He knew how to play Quidditch, but it seemed much more exciting up close and personal. After they finished practice, Caspar would walk up to him and they'd chat for a bit. Then he and Caspar would play their own bit of Quidditch. First-years weren't allowed brooms, but somehow Caspar, a fourth-year, procured an old one for Dan to ride.

This continued for about a week before Phil asked him about it.

"Will you join the Quidditch team, then?"

Dan laughed. "No way. First-years aren't even allowed to."

Still, Phil noticed Dan's wistful eyes as he watched the team practice.

A few days later, while Caspar and Dan were playing, a girl came out and stood by Phil. She watched them, and every so often would turn and say something to Phil.

Dan kept watching them out of the corner of his eye. His chest swelled with indignation. Since when had this girl been so friendly with Phil? _He_ was Phil's best friend.

Finally, he hopped off the broom and headed over to the pair, Caspar not far behind. He kept eyeing the girl suspiciously.

She stepped forward. "Nice flying," she grinned, offering her hand to Dan, who grudgingly took it. "Name's Emma. Emma Blackery. I'm Slytherin's Seeker." Emma kept grinning. "Now I know why you told me about him, Caspar."

Caspar had walked up behind Dan and clapped his shoulder. "Yup. Reckon he could join the team?"

"Next year," Emma said decisively, popping the gum she was chewing. "He'll be ready. Make sure you got a broom, and keep practicing," she told him, before turning around to say goodbye to Phil. Then Caspar and she left the field.

Phil watched them go. "They think you're really good, Dan."

Dan was quiet. A lot was going through his mind. He felt a lump rise in his throat, and he sat atop the grass. Phil turned to him.

"Dan?" No answer.

After a moment, Phil sat in the grass opposite Dan, and toyed with a few blades. "What is it?"

A long silence stretched out, and finally, Dan spoke. "What if I'm not really good and they're teasing me? Or humoring me? What if I do join next year and I suck? Then get thrown off the team? Then I'll be known as the guy who embarrassed himself on the Quidditch team, and-"

"Dan," Phil interrupted gently, "listen. They aren't teasing or humoring you. Emma was telling me all the great things you were doing while you were practicing with Caspar. They tell others how you should join the team all the time. They really do think you're good at it."

He looked up at Phil, who was smiling. Susan crept over to Dan and placed her paw tentatively on his knee. For some reason, this comforted him more than any other physical gesture.

"I think the problem is, you don't believe you're good," Phil continued quietly. "But, Dan, you really are amazing at it. You fly so naturally, it comes like breathing. You're graceful with the Quaffle, and you can throw zingers past a fourth-year like Caspar. Don't you see? You're a good Quidditch player. That's why they're telling you that you are." He looked at Dan earnestly.

Dan didn't answer, studying the grass. Finally, he spoke. "Maybe you're right, Phil."

"Susan knows it, too," Phil got off the ground, grabbing Dan's hand and pulling him up. "Come on, I know what will cheer you up."

Surprised, Dan allowed himself to be dragged through Hogwarts to the Hufflepuff common room. It always smelled good, like freshly baked pastries. But he only caught a whiff before being yanked up to the boys' dormitories.

"In here," Phil motioned, an excited grin plastered across his face.

"Phil, what-" Dan then caught sight of a beautiful tawny owl perched regally above Phil's bed. She ruffled her feathers, regarding him suspiciously.

"With Professor Graceffa's help, I was able to get her," Phil told him, almost shyly. "I kept saying you needed a pet, so…"

Dan walked up to the bird, looking right at its amber eyes. "She's beautiful, Phil. Is this really for me?"

The owl gave a hoot of approval and fluttered over. Dan quickly put his arm up, and she perched there happily.

"Of course she is," Phil replied happily. "And she likes you. Animals really do like you, Dan."

"Wow, thank you, Phil," Dan said sincerely, turning to look at him. "I really love her."

Phil reddened and scratched the back of his neck. "Well, um, I'm glad you like her." He brightened. "What will you name her?"

"Amber," Dan decided, using a finger to gently stroke the soft feathers. "Since she has such large amber eyes."

"Perfect!" Phil clapped his hands in delight. "I hope Susan and Amber will be friends."

Dan laughed at that. There really was no telling what this boy would do next. Oddly enough, though, Dan found that he preferred it that way.

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 **Chapter 2 is out! I love this story. And possessive Dan. Oops.**

 **Please tell me what you think! I appreciate it.**

 **Bye now.**


	3. Chapter 3

They were now a few weeks into school, and Dan was surprised at how well he was getting on in his classes. He found Herbology rather boring, but Phil loved it and was constantly at the greenhouses, tending to his plants. Dan had teasingly started to call him "plant-boy Lester."

Meanwhile, his favorite class by far had to be Potions. It came so naturally, and he enjoyed brewing various concoctions–even if his professor, Professor Sings, was a little strange.

Slytherins took Potions with the Gryffindors, so Chris, the boy from the first night, was in the class with him, as well as another new friend named Connor Franta.

Connor stared in disgust down at the cauldron, frothing slightly and making an abnormal hissing sound. He huffed. "Dan, do you have any idea how to make this Pungent Potion?"

Dan looked from his own cauldron to Connor's and stifled a laugh. "You're on a good course…for making a Sickening Stew."

"Help me," Connor begged, eyes widening in alarm when the cauldron let loose a _pop_. "I don't have any idea what I'm doing."

"Chop up those lizard tails more finely, and add them one teaspoonful at a time," Dan instructed, stirring his own mixture. "Then–don't add _that!_ That's the heart of a salamander, not a newt! And make sure you roll it in your hands to make it soft before putting it in."

Connor did as instructed, and slowly his brew changed to a simmering green-brown. "You did it! How?"

Dan grinned at him. "Just follow the instructions."

Professor Sings wandered over. "Hello," she said, in that nasally tone of hers. "Good job. Only not as good of a job as I would've done. Anyone who says otherwise is a hater." With that, she drifted on by.

Dan rolled his eyes as Connor tried to hide his giggles.

After class, Chris caught up to them. "What were you two laughing about back there?"

"The professor. She cracks me up." Connor started to chat about various topics, and Dan tuned it out until he felt a tug on his shoulder.

Turning, he saw a Hufflepuff he faintly recognized, but couldn't quite place the name. "Yes?"

"I'm Zoe," she introduced herself quickly, and her eyes showed that she was worried. "Are you Dan Howell?"

Dan frowned, turning to face her fully. "Yes. What's wrong?"

Chris and Connor glanced at each other, and Dan motioned for them to go on without him. With a backwards glance, they left.

"It's your friend, Phil," she began.

Dan's face became alarmed and almost without realizing it, he grabbed her shoulders suddenly. "What? What happened to him? Is he okay?" A million scenarios raced across his mind, and he felt sick and dizzy. Phil was so clumsy…

"Hey, calm down," Zoe soothed, placing a hand on his shoulder. "He had an accident. He fell down one of the staircases. Another Hufflepuff was going the same direction, and they collided. She caught herself, but he fell. He's in the hospital wing. He's asking for you. The nurse sent me."

Dan released her, his head spinning. "Could you take me there?"

"Of course. Follow me." Spinning on her heel, Zoe took off down the hall. Dan followed behind, dazed. "Is he badly hurt?"

"No–just a broken arm, I think. The nurse has already handled it." Zoe answered, turning back to smile at him. "I'm sure he's okay."

Dan just followed her blankly. He hadn't really considered how he would feel if Phil wasn't around to take care of him. Really, that was the only reason he'd survived the first few days–Phil had taken care of him. He smiled ruefully. Almost seemed like it should be the other way around.

Zoe stopped in front of a large door. "This is the hospital wing." She paused, looking back at him. "You all right?"

"Dandy," Dan heard himself say sarcastically.

He pushed open the door and found rows of beds running along the walls. He glanced around, assuming that the only bed with a curtain pulled around it was Phil's. Walking toward it, he pulled the curtain back.

"Dan!" Phil reached forward, and Dan was at his bedside in an instant, kneeling. "Dan, I–I…"

And to Dan's complete shock, Phil buried his face into Dan's shirt and started to cry.

His arms moved automatically to gently hug the sobbing boy, and he whispered: "It's okay, Phil. You're all right." He was reassuring himself as much as Phil.

"Uh-huh," Phil whimpered, but he wouldn't look up from Dan's shirt.

A cough finally made Dan notice the person sitting beside them. He turned red, but they didn't look anything other than contrite.

"I'm Emma," they said, biting their lip. They were on the tallish side at 5'11", with eyes just like Phil's and purple hair. They wore Hufflepuff colors, and looked up at Dan with anxiety. "It was me that Phil ran into at the stairs. I am so, so sorry. I tried to grab him, but–"

"It's okay," Dan interrupted them. He tried to smile, but found it hard to when he could feel Phil's tears soaking his clothes. "It was an accident."

They regarded Dan with hope, their eyes lighting up slightly. "It really frightened him," Emma confided, nodding toward Phil. "Especially when the nurse healed him. I thought he'd faint. He's been asking for you since we got here."

Dan was filled with a rush of affection for the distraught boy. He ruffled Phil's hair and tried to get him to look up. "Phil. Come on, look at me. You're fine."

Phil looked up with red, puffy eyes, and Dan felt his heart hurt. He didn't realize how much this boy's friendship meant to him, and he hadn't realized how scared Phil could be. Usually it was Phil comforting him, not the other way around.

Phil tried to regain his composure. "Thanks for coming, Dan," he laughed weakly, wiping his face. "It was…kinda scary."

The doctor, Master Mark, bustled over to the trio with the nurse behind him. "All right, how's my patient? A little teary?"

"I healed his arm, sir," the nurse began, and Master Mark barked: "Shut up, Nurse!" as he directed his attention to Phil's arm.

Phil clung to Dan's shirt fearfully as the doctor looked him over, and Dan came to realize something: Phil was scared of the doctor's office.

Emma rose and offered their hand contritely to Phil. "I really hope you're okay, Phil. I feel so bad about it."

Phil smiled at them. "Don't worry about it. It was an accident, like Dan said. I'm just glad you weren't hurt."

They smiled, glancing over to nod at Dan. "I hope we'll all be friends," they offered hopefully.

"Of course," Dan replied, nodding back, as Emma turned and left them to finish the inspection.

Dan grabbed Phil's hand comfortingly as Master Mark finished looking him over, and a small idea was building in his mind to cheer Phil up. "Say, Phil…did you know there's a Quidditch match coming up?"

The pair stood looking over the Quidditch field, Dan wearing his Slytherin scarf and Phil waving a small Slytherin flag. Today's match was Slytherin vs. Ravenclaw.

PJ jostled his way to them, donned in his bright Ravenclaw colors. "Hey, Dan, Phil," he greeted, standing beside them. "You'll forgive me for rooting for Ravenclaw, eh? I'm excited for this match."

"Me, too," Phil said brightly. He'd regained his spirits soon after they'd left the hospital wing. Dan had brought up the Quidditch match (rather embarrassed) and Phil had immediately been excited.

So here they stood, watching the teams walk out onto the field. Their friend, Jack, was commentating in his memorable Irish accent. "An' so the teams take the field! Today should be interestin'! Slytherin has been undefeated since las' year–but Ravenclaw should give 'em a run for their money!"

As the Slytherin team entered, Emma Blackery looked up and waved to them. Phil waved back enthusiastically. Dan folded his arms after giving a small wave.

As the match started, Emma hovered over the field as a Slytherin Chaser took possession of the Quaffle. Ravenclaw's Beaters immediately went after him.

"Ooh, that's a bit o' fancy flyin'–but can 'e keep it up?"

 _Yes!_ He shot it right through the hoop and the Slytherin fans went nuts.

Suddenly, Emma dove down, but then pulled back up regretfully, shaking her head. "Seems Miss Blackery thought she spotted the Snitch, but not to be."

As Emma flew back up, she ruffled Phil's hair as she went by. Phil giggled and Dan frowned. Since when had they been close buddies?

"Phil–" he started, but then Jack screeched as a Ravenclaw got smacked by Caspar's expert aim. "OOH! DIDJA SEE THAT–"

Ravenclaws booed in good sport, and Slytherins cheered. Caspar went to look at the Ravenclaw to see if he was all right, and when he was satisfied, he flew back to protect Joe Sugg from getting hit.

After a few more closely matched plays, Emma suddenly shot forward, moving at breakneck speed. The Ravenclaw Seeker was not far behind.

The two grappled, and then Dan could see the speck of gold–the Snitch.

Suddenly, they both pulled up, and the whole stadium was silent as Emma lifted her closed fist in the air. She caught the Snitch!

The Slytherins erupted and Phil was dancing beside him. PJ clapped him on the back. "Well, Dan, Slytherin's got quite the team. Congrats."

But Dan wasn't paying attention, because Emma turned from her seat and winked at Phil, who waved happily back at her.

Feeling his face get hot, he turned and hurried away from the celebrating stands. His chest hurt and he just wanted to get away.

Phil found him hiding under a terrace about twenty minutes later. "Dan?" he poked his head under the area. "What are you doing here? Your House is having a party to celebrate your victory!"

"Will Emma be there?" his voice was rather high-pitched and unnatural sounding.

Phil cocked his head, puzzled. "Of course. She's on the Quidditch team, and she caught the–"

"I know," Dan said shortly, instantly regretting his sour attitude.

Phil was quiet for a moment, and then crawled under to join him. "Susan led me to you," he commented, petting the ferret. "It's how I knew where you were."

Dan didn't reply.

Letting out a breath, Phil leaned back. "Are you going to tell me what's bothering you? You seemed so excited to go to the match…" he peered at him anxiously. "You're not sick, right?"

"No…no." Dan bit his lip. Why was he acting like this? It wasn't his business who Emma winked at.

He burst out: "We're–we're best friends, aren't we, Phil?"

After his initial look of surprise, Phil smiled at him warmly. "Of course, Dan. You're the best friend I've ever had."

"And you won't…replace me?"

Phil shook his head vigorously. "Never."

Dan stared down at Susan, who almost seemed to nod at him as though to say, "He's telling the truth, knucklehead."

Finally, he looked up at Phil. "Sorry. Let's go to that party. I think I could use some good butterbeer."

"I've never had any. Is it allowed?"

Dan laughed, pulling Phil out from under the terrace. "You go on ahead. I just wanna get something to drink real quick."

"Gotcha." Phil skipped away, muttering about the pros and cons of butterbeer under his breath.

Dan watched him go, sighing.

"What is it?"

Dan yelped at the voice behind him, spinning around. "Professor Kjellberg! I–uh–"

Professor Kjellberg regarded him. "Did you enjoy the match, Dan?"

"Y-Yes, sir," Dan stammered.

"Then what's troubling you?"

He rubbed his neck, sighing. He knew it was no good to deny it, especially when the professor stood there with his blue eyes looking like they knew the mysteries of the universe. "Well…I guess I'm just…jealous."

He raised an eyebrow.

"I–uh, I just, I have this friend, and I don't want him becoming best friends with anyone else, but he's so friendly, and I'm not, and I don't know why he puts up with me, and–"

"Daniel," Professor Kjellberg interrupted. His eyes were twinkling. "If he is your true friend, it is because he likes you for who you are, even if you don't see that. If he is truly fond of you, he won't go after new friends just because someone else was friendly to him. As for you, I think you don't see just how highly people think of you."

Dan looked up at him beseechingly, and he could see the warmth in the professor's face. His shoulders relaxed. "Thank you, Professor."

He winked, turning to the courtyard. "Now run along. If I'm not mistaken, you have a Quidditch match to celebrate, right? Quite a good performance."

Dan left him with a new smile on his face. He wasn't all the way there yet, but he was learning.

As he remembered, that's what he came to Hogwarts to do, anyway.

 **Wooo! Another chapter! I hope you liked it!**

 **I realize there might be some confusion-there are two Emmas in this chapter: the Hufflepuff girl Phil bumped into, and the Slytherin Seeker we all know and love, Emma Blackery. Please realize I love Emma B. to death! She is not a villain!**

 **Please let me know what you thought!**

 **Bye now.**


	4. Chapter 4

"Are you ready?"

Dan waited impatiently for Phil to get up from the breakfast table. Seating wasn't mandatory in your House's table, so they often ate together at Slytherin's table before heading to class.

"Yeah, I'm…wait, has Susan eaten?"

The ferret was sitting on Dan's shoulder, preening herself. Dan rolled his eyes. "Probably. Jeez, Phil, you say that every day."

"Aw, give him a break, mate," Joe Sugg rested his elbows on the table across from Phil. "He's just looking after his pet."

"Looking after? Give me a break. I end up babysitting his pet more than he does!" Dan protested, and Caspar Lee swung around to elbow Joe.

"Hear that, Joe? Poor D-Slice has to look after Phil's pet."

"Shut up, Caspar, you're just still salty that I said your head looks like a pineapple," Dan retorted, and Susan reared back at Dan's quick movement.

"Dan," Phil reprimanded, but Joe and Caspar had just dissolved into a fit of laughter. Dan took Phil by the arm and practically dragged him out of the Great Hall.

"You're acting different today, Dan," Phil observed as Dan stomped down the hall. "Any particular reason why?"

Dan hesitated. "I'm not acting different!"

"You're so moody you got genuinely angry when the grape jam was on the opposite end of the table during breakfast," Phil noted drily.

Dan shrugged, not wanting to admit that Phil was right. "I didn't want the strawberry jam, I wanted grape."

Phil made an exasperated noise, then proceeded to pull on Dan's arm. "C'mon, I need to check on my plants."

"Really? Again?" Dan complained, but followed the other boy down the hall.

"Every morning! Although, I have forgotten a few times…" Phil admitted sheepishly as he pulled open the door to the greenhouse. Autumn air swept into the air, and Dan breathed in the cooling air as Phil inspected a few pots.

"Only a little brownness! I think I'm improving!" Phil exclaimed as he proceeded to water and prune the plants. Dan was only half paying attention to Phil's explanation of how to care for a mandrake as he walked up and down the greenhouse. The fresh air was calming him somewhat.

Susan leapt down from his shoulder and stood next to a particularly pretty plant with purple flowers. Dan touched the soft, fuzzy leaves on the small plant.

"Hey, Phil? What's this?"

The blue-eyed boy peeked around the corner to look. "Oh, that's an African violet. Aren't they pretty?"

"What's it do?"

"Do?" Phil repeated, confused.

"What's its magical properties, I mean?"

"It doesn't have any," Phil said, shrugging. "It really doesn't 'do' anything. It looks pretty. It brings a lovely atmosphere. It's a charming plant. It just exists. Does it really need to do anything else?"

"No…I suppose not," Dan murmured, releasing the plant's leaf.

"I always liked African violets," Phil remarked before disappearing back around the corner to finish with his own plants.

Dan stood there stiffly, clenching his fists.

 _It just exists. Does it really need to do anything else?_

Dan realized he was trembling. He took a shuddering breath, and Susan cocked her head at him questioningly. He found he couldn't look the ferret in the eye.

"Dan, I'm finished! You ready to go? We'll be late for Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Sure," he replied, and his voice was small. He cleared his throat. "Sure, Phil, let's go."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When they arrived, Professor Fischbach was writing something on the blackboard and speaking with Professor Kjellberg. Dan slunk into his seat beside Phil and could hear them murmuring.

"With second-years? Are you sure, Mark?"

"Positive. They've been doing well; it's time they test themselves to see what they can do," Professor Fischbach replied. "Trust me, Felix, it'll be fine."

"If you say so, Mark. I was just surprised."

"I know a thing or two about handling horror, Felix. It's only natural."

"True. I'll leave you to it, then."

As Professor Kjellberg passed by Dan's desk, he could've sworn he saw the professor flicker a worried glance Phil's way, but he couldn't be sure.

"Hello, everybody, and welcome to Defense Against the Dark Arts," Professor Fischbach said brightly, like he did at the beginning of every class. "Today's the day, people–we get to face our fears with a boggart!"

Dan's stomach clenched. He wanted to vomit. He wasn't ready.

"Ah, Ms. Sugg! Would you like to go first?" Professor Fischbach asked, stepping aside to reveal a trunk that was wiggling up and down. "Now, remember– _Riddikulus!_ Just like we practiced, and you'll be fine!"

Zoe stepped up confidently, brandishing her wand and pointing it at the chest. "I'm ready, Professor!" she decided, not taking her eyes off the trunk as she prepared to attack.

The trunk flew open to reveal a gigantic wasp. Zoe's eyes widened, and she took a hesitant step back as she assessed the creature. It flew around angrily, and buzzed loudly right in front of the nervous class. Zoe lifted her wand.

" _Riddikulus!"_

The wasp's legs and wings disappeared, and it made confused buzzing sounds as it thrashed around on the floor. The class giggled at the wasp's dismay. Zoe grinned from ear to ear.

"Excellent, Ms. Sugg! Excellent!" Professor Fischbach exclaimed, looking at the flustered wasp on the ground. "Who's next?"

Every time Professor Fischbach called a name, Dan's stomach would seize up. He kept his head low, praying he wouldn't be next. Several Hufflepuffs and Slytherins went up to the creature, and it'd change every time–a clown, a ghoul, a doctor with a gigantic needle…

"Mr. Lester! Why don't you give it a try?"

"Sure, Professor!" Phil replied, standing up and giving a smile. He walked to the front, and stood before the boggart, waiting.

The boggart shifted, turning into…Dan?

The class's eyes shifted toward a confused Dan, who gazed at the boggart version of himself. Phil's worst fear was…him?

But then the boggart-Dan began to speak, perfectly imitating Dan's irritated drawl. "You idiot," it snapped, crossing its arms. "Why do you always have to get yourself in these situations? Can't you be a normal human being for two seconds?"

Phil had lifted his wand, but his hand trembled. "I…I–"

"Honestly! You're so abnormal and odd, it's no wonder no one wants to be your friend!" boggart-Dan laughed. "Stop being such a weirdo. It's embarrassing just being around you."

Phil's shoulders were shaking. Dan stood from his desk, his face white.

The boggart turned into a young man, who looked like Phil a bit, so Dan guessed it was Phil's older brother. "You don't have any friends, Phil, because you're so freakish," he rolled his eyes. "Why can't you be normal?"

"But this is who I am," Phil said very quietly. His head was lowered, and no one could see his face.

The boggart had turned back into Dan. "No one likes the real you!"

" _Enough!"_ Dan cried, jumping up from his desk to cry, " _Riddikulus!"_

The boggart shrieked, and Professor Fischbach approached it. The boggart turned into a–mannequin?–before the professor trapped it back into the trunk.

"Phil, hey, Phil, look at me," Dan grabbed his friend's shoulders. "Phil, look at me, okay? It's Dan. Your friend."

Phil looked up, and Dan's heart hurt. Phil's eyes were glassy with unshed tears, and he looked lost. "Dan?"

"Class is dismissed!" Professor Fischbach declared, shooing the gawking students away. "Mr. Lester, please come with me."

Professor Fischbach laid a comforting hand on the shaken boy's shoulder, guiding him to his office. He looked back at Dan.

"Don't worry, Mr. Howell. I'll send him back in a moment. Go to your dormitory."

With that, a heavy door shut in Dan's face, and he was left with clenched fists and an indescribable pain throbbing in his chest.

He walked out, thinking. He'd been so worried to discover what his worst fear was, he hadn't considered Phil's. Hell, he hadn't even thought Phil _had_ a worst fear.

But seeing his own jeering face laughing at Phil had made Dan realize something. Everybody had inner demons, and Phil's…Phil's was acceptance.

Dan waited outside the Hufflepuff common room for what felt like ages. Finally, he saw the familiar form of Phil shuffling towards him.

"Phil!" he sprang to his feet. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

His friend wouldn't look him in the eye. Phil forced a weak laugh. "Pretty embarrassing, huh? Sorry you had to see that."

Dan's arm lowered as he assessed Phil's mood. He wasn't used to Phil being sad and lost, and he decided he didn't like it.

"Phil, c'mon, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Anybody would've been afraid of that boggart. I mean, it had my face," Dan tried to joke, but Phil just shrugged.

Dan grabbed Phil's wrist. "C'mon."

Without a word, Phil followed Dan down the hallway until they reached a familiar place–the greenhouses.

"Why are we here?" Phil asked quietly. "I don't feel like taking care of my plants."

Dan pulled him over to a particular plant. "Remember this morning?"

Phil looked at the plant. "An African violet?"

"I asked you what the purpose of this plant was," Dan told him. "And you told me that the plant just existed. That the plant didn't need any more reason for living than that. And that made me realize something."

Phil turned, and for the first time, looked Dan in the eyes. "What?"

"My worst fear," Dan mumbled, dropping his eyes. "My worst fear is that I won't accomplish anything. I'm afraid of just living my life and being forgotten when I'm gone. I'm afraid of not doing all the things in this life that I could do. I-I'm afraid of being forgotten."

Phil studied Dan for a few moments before turning away. "I'm afraid, too, Dan."

Dan didn't say anything. He let the silence stretch, and finally, Phil began to explain.

"I'm afraid of not being accepted," Phil murmured, kicking the ground. "I'm weird. I'm strange. I do embarrassing things and get myself in embarrassing situations. Why would people want to put up with me? Why can't I make friends? Why can't I just be–"

"No!" Dan interrupted. "No! You, Phil Lester, are the _opposite_ of normal, and _that is how it should be!_ If you were normal, you wouldn't be Phil. If you were normal, you'd lose your personality–the very thing that makes you who you are! Besides, I like you just the way you are."

Phil turned back to Dan.

"Don't change who you are, Phil," Dan pleaded. "There are plenty of people that appreciate you just the way you are."

"Yeah," Phil mumbled, swiping at his eyes. "Thanks, Dan. That helped me a lot."

"Well, it's only fair. You helped me first," Dan replied, elbowing the other boy.

"Huh? When?"

"After you said African violets don't need any other purpose for living than just existing," Dan said quietly, "you said you always liked the violets anyway."

"Yeah?"

"Having people that like me and support me…" Dan smiled softly. "That's sort of like my legacy now, isn't it?"

"As long as you know others, Dan, you'll never be forgotten," Phil grinned, and Susan chirruped her agreement. "C'mon, I'm hungry. We haven't eaten since breakfast."

"Yeah, you're right, let's go."

"After that, do you wanna just crash in the common room? I'm kind of wiped out, aren't you?"

"Yeah. Let's go home."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **Did you catch that TATINOF reference in there? I hope you did!**

 **Delving into Phil's weaknesses is something I always wanted to do! I'm glad I got to explore his head a little.**

 **Please tell me what you think!**

 **Bye now.**


	5. Valentine's Special

"Maybe this wasn't the best idea."

Understatement of the century.

"You think?" Dan sighed in annoyance, watching his friend try to keep from falling off the swinging chandelier. "What did I tell you?"

Phil had the decency to look sorry. "To just let Susan come down by herself?"

"Exactly." The ferret in question had gracefully leapt off the chandelier after Phil had climbed up to retrieve her, and was now watching the spectacle amusedly from her perch on the table.

Now Phil was stuck and Dan didn't know how to get him down.

"Maybe I should get Professor Kjellberg," Dan started to say hesitantly, but Phil violently shook his head. "No! I respect the professor. I can't let him see me like this! Especially when Susan just jumped down by herself!"

Dan groaned. "Then how are you gonna get down?"

"Um…" Phil's fingers slipped and he wobbled. Dan's eyes flared and he rushed to the spot beneath Phil. "Phil…"

"I know." Phil readjusted himself from his perch. His eyes were slightly watery. "Sorry, Dan. I cause so much trouble."

It was Dan's turn to shake his head violently. "If you want to blame someone, blame that fucking ferret," he replied, glaring at Susan, who winked at him. Phil insisted she was just "a ferret with feelings" but Dan suspected that ferret was smarter than anyone knew.

"Maybe you can get me down with that spell we learned last week," Phil suggested. " _Wingardium Leviosa_."

Dan balked. "You're better at Charms than I am, Phil!"

"You can do it, Dan!" he said encouragingly. "Remember what our book said, from Professor Granger, one of the smartest witches to ever come through Hogwarts: "It's _Levio-sa_."

"Alright, I'll try," Dan grumbled, taking out his wand. " _Wingardium Leviosa!_ "

Phil's body lifted from the chandelier, and he floated in the air for a few moments, looking a bit nervous. "Good…uh…could you put me down?"

"Right…" Dan lowered his wand, and Phil started to plummet to the ground. "Ahh!"

"Fuck!" Dan jerked his wand, and Phil narrowly avoided being squashed, and instead bolted back up high into the ceiling. "Dan!"

"Shit, hold on, Phil!" Very carefully, he tried to start lowering Phil. It seemed to be going okay until someone banged open the door behind them with a "Hey, Dan and Phil!"

Dan was startled and lost concentration. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see Phil's tragic fall to the floor, but he never heard him hit.

Opening his eyes, he saw none other than Professor Kjellberg standing there calmly, holding Phil in his arms. Behind Dan was PJ and Chris, who had come in and startled him.

"Professor," Dan wheezed out, clutching his chest in relief. "Thank you."

"Mr. Lester, are you all right?" Professor Kjellberg asked Phil, who seemed frozen in fright.

"Yes," Phil squeaked out.

"Excellent." He put Phil on the floor and turned to Susan. "Ah. Your ferret, I presume?"

"Yeah, that's Susan, Phil's ferret," Dan told him, since Phil seemed unable to speak.

"Hmm. Well, Ms. Susan, would you mind coming to my office?" Professor Kjellberg asked the creature, adjusting his robes.

Susan regarded him for a moment, then turned away in disdain and pranced out of the room.

The professor seemed amused. "She doesn't appear to like me."

"I'm sorry, Professor," Dan stammered, not sure what to say.

He waved it off. "It's quite all right, Mr. Howell. I daresay that ferret has a mind all its own." He winked. "Don't you agree?"

Before Dan could answer, the professor swept away, humming a catchy tune under his breath.

"Dan, what happened?" Dan realized he'd forgotten PJ and Chris were there.

"Oh, Phil had an accident. But don't worry, he's okay…I think," Dan told them. "What brings you here?"

"Haven't you heard?" PJ seemed surprised. "Valentine's Day is tomorrow, and there's going to be a party."

Dan felt a redness grow along his neck and cheeks. "Oh, yeah."

"Who are you taking to the dance?" Chris asked.

"Hadn't thought about it," Dan stammered. "I'm not really one for parties."

Chris elbowed him. "C'mon, mate. It'll be fun even if you don't bring a girl to dance with." His eyebrows wiggled. "I'll even dance with you!"

Dan joined him in laughing, but his stomach was all curled up in knots.

Phil came to his rescue. "Sounds fun! Who are you taking?"

Dan tuned out PJ's response about a curly-headed girl he'd met the other day, and instead started to think as Phil talked to PJ and Chris. How could he get out of going to this party? Maybe he could whip up a potion that would turn him green for a few hours. Or maybe he could Transfigure Susan into a toad by "accident" and spend the time laughing at her.

"Dan?" He was brought back by Phil's question. "Weren't you going to practice with Caspar and Joe today?"

"Oh, you're right!" Dan checked the clock. He was supposed to have been there five minutes ago. "I'll see you guys later!" He waved as he jogged out of the room.

"I heard the Headmaster is going to ask Professor Bisognin to the dance," he heard Chris say as he left.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What's up with you today, Dan? You're not throwing like you usually do," Joe Sugg commented as Dan halfheartedly tossed the Quaffle.

Dan had thought Quidditch would be a great way to get his mind off of the Valentine's party and try to find an excuse not to go, but he kept thinking about how excited Phil had looked when he'd heard of the party and how PJ and Chris already assumed he was coming.

He sighed, circling back around and running his fingers through his hair. "Yeah, sorry. I'm just thinking about that party."

"You mean that Valentine's party?" Caspar asked as he retrieved the Quaffle. "It sounds like fun. Aren't you going?"

Dan's face reddened. "Well…"

"You don't have to go," Joe comforted him. "You can do whatever you like for Valentine's Day."

"That's true, but…" Phil's excited face flashed through his mind. "Phil seemed so excited for it, and he's probably expecting me to go." Dan didn't see the looks Caspar and Joe exchanged.

"Well, just do whatever makes you comfortable," Joe told him. "I'm sure Phil would understand if you don't want to go."

"Yeah."

They continued their practice in silence.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was Valentine's Day.

Dan had successfully avoided PJ, Chris, and Phil throughout the morning. He knew Phil was looking for him, but he didn't want to tell Phil that he wasn't going to the party.

Susan found him, though. He was sitting in a tree next to the lake, studying the water to see if there really was a giant squid. He was startled out of his thoughts by a ferret rustling in the branch beside him.

"Oh. Hey, Susan." He looked quickly around for Phil, but he wasn't anywhere in sight. "What is it?"

The ferret gave him a reproachful look and sat back. Dan knew what she meant.

"Don't look at me like that. I know Phil's looking for me. But I can't talk to him. I'm hoping he'll just go without me."

Susan rolled her eyes.

"I'm getting scolded by a ferret," Dan said to himself resignedly. "But maybe you're right, Susan. Am I just being a wuss?"

 _Yes,_ Susan seemed all too happy to say with a short bob of her head.

"Okay, okay…" Dan grumbled. "I'll go."

Susan scampered off with glee, and Dan was left to wonder how a fucking ferret had just talked him into going to the dance.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

By the time the clock struck six, Dan found himself standing in front of the Great Hall, feeling sick. He was wearing his formal robes, and he looked the part to go inside. But he just couldn't bring himself to step through the door.

"Dan?" He turned and saw PJ standing there with a curly-haired girl. "I haven't seen you all day! Phil's been looking for you. This is Sophie."

"Hello," the girl said pleasantly, but Dan was having a mild inward crisis. He'd forgotten that he was supposed to have brought a date.

"Dan, what's wrong? You don't look so good."

"I…uh…must've been something I ate."

PJ nodded sympathetically. "Well, come on! We don't want to stand out here all night."

Before he could protest, Dan found himself ushered inside by PJ and Sophie. His heart was beating wildly against his ribs as he took a quick, panicky look around for Phil. He didn't see him.

Music was playing loudly, and a long buffet table was lined with food. Sophie said something to PJ, and he nodded and turned to Dan.

"We're gonna go dance! Make sure you find Phil!" PJ shouted over the noise and left to the dance floor. Dan could see Professor Kjellberg dancing with Professor Bisognin.

He shrank back to avoid talking to others. He didn't know where Phil was, and he was nervous. What if he just sat here against the wall all night? Should he have come?

"Dan?" A familiar voice said, and he turned to see Emma Blackery. "I haven't seen you since the last Quidditch match! What're you up to?"

"I, uh, not much. Just kind of hanging out," he replied. "Do you…do you know where Phil is?"

Emma shook her head. "He's been looking for you, though. I danced with him about fifteen minutes ago, but then he took off. Said it was important. I don't know where he is now."

Dan felt deflated. "Oh. Thanks."

"Want to dance?" Emma asked, gesturing at the dance floor. "The special Valentine's dance is coming up." She laughed.

"Uh. No thanks, but I'll see you later," Dan stammered as he quickly turned and walked off into the crowd. He was feeling more and more upset. Maybe he should just leave.

Suddenly, a mob of people rushed by and jostled him, causing him to be caught up between the couples. He found himself in the middle of the dance floor.

Professor Kjellberg saw him and cheekily waved. Dan could only look at him helplessly.

Then, the music changed to a soft, elegant tone and people started pairing up. A professor (Dan was pretty sure it was Professor Dawson) announced that it was time for the Valentine's Dance.

"A special couple will be chosen at the end for something exciting!" He added.

Dan tried to leave the floor, but as he turned around a few dancing couples, he felt someone grab his wrist and pull him back.

He'd found Phil.

"Dan!" Phil looked a mixture of relieved, reproachful, and happy. "There you are! I've been looking for you all day."

"Sorry," Dan squeaked, his face flaming with shame. "I, uh, was busy."

"Right," Phil replied. "Wanna dance? I haven't danced much yet, have you?"

"Uh. No." And so Dan found himself dancing with Phil in the middle of the party, and also found that he was finally enjoying himself.

Phil chattered about what he'd done that day, how the mandrakes were doing, why he'd been late getting to class that morning, etc. He took hold of Dan's hand and twirled him around during a crescendo in the music.

"You're a good dancer, Dan!" Phil laughed. "Did you take lessons?"

"You've got to be kidding. I'd fall on my face," Dan groaned as Phil kept laughing. The pair didn't feel someone's eyes watching them amusedly.

"And now for the couple!" Professor Dawson's voice boomed over the dancers. "…Dan Howell and Phil Lester! Will they please come and claim their prize!"

Applause sounded from around them, and Dan felt like his head was inside of an oven. "Uh. Well. Should we…"

"We won, Dan!" Phil shouted gleefully. "Let's go get our prize!"

With Phil's hand in his, Dan pushed his way over to where Professor Dawson was standing with the headmaster and Professor Bisognin. All three were grinning impishly.

"Hi, Professors! Did we win something?" Phil asked excitedly, squeezing Dan's hand.

"Yes. Congratulations." Professor Dawson handed them each a gigantic box of Chocolate Frogs. Phil squealed in excitement as he watched his shuffle around in the box.

Dan's eyes were focused on Professor Kjellberg. He was holding hands with Professor Bisognin.

"Headmaster," he said, "earlier, you–"

"And now for the Valentine's kiss!" Professor Dawson interrupted him. Dan's eyes widened and he looked at him.

"Wait. What? We're not–I mean, what do you–"

He looked at Phil, his cheeks burning for the thousandth time that day. _How the fuck am I gonna…well…_

Dan leaned forward slightly right as Professor Graceffa plopped a gigantic chocolate kiss right between them. "It's up to you how you want to split it," he told a stunned Dan, "but it's made with special magic kiss chocolate, so you know it'll be good."

"Right." Dan was immobile.

Phil, on the other hand, seemed overwhelmed with all the chocolate. "How are we gonna eat all this?" he asked a still petrified Dan. "Dan?"

"Uh. I don't know."

Phil grinned as Susan scampered up and onto Phil's shoulder. "Happy Valentine's Day, Dan."

"Happy Valentine's Day, Phil."

Shyly, Phil reached forward to give Dan a hug. "Will you be my Valentine?"

Dan returned the hug, finally relaxing and smiling. "Only if you'll be mine."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

 **This is probably the cheesiest thing I've ever written. I apologize for nothing.**

 **I hope you enjoyed it! Yes, this was the Valentine's special.**

 **Let me know what you think!**

 **Bye now.**


	6. Halloween Special

There was a pumpkin on his head.

"Um…Phil?" He asked, shooing Susan away from trying to climb up there as well. "Why…do I have a pumpkin on my head?"

"Guess what's coming up soon, Dan!" Phil chirped, setting another large pumpkin down in front of him. "Halloween! And that means carving pumpkins!"

"Carving pumpkins?" Dan repeated, finally managing to get the smaller pumpkin off of himself. "Is this some sort of Muggle thing?"

Phil froze, looking back at him in horror. "You've never carved pumpkins? What about going trick-or-treating? Dressing up?"

Dan shook his head. "We usually just reenact the skeleton war and have a great feast. Sometimes we play enchanted pranks to scare each other. But mostly, we just laugh that Muggles find witches so scary and have a whole holiday dedicated to scaring each other."

He'd never seen someone look so offended. "That's monstrous! Well, you're getting the full Halloween experience this year." His eyes gleamed. "It's my first year celebrating Halloween at Hogwarts, and I want it to go really well."

Dan sat back, thinking. "What if we combined both of our traditions?"

"Sure!" Phil plopped down in front of him. "What did you say you all do? What's the skeleton war?"

Grinning, Dan sat up on his feet as he dropped to his scariest tone. "Many years ago, a witch found a skeleton propped up in a cave near here. Thinking it would be fun to enchant to help out around Hogwarts, she took it back here to enchant. At first, everything went well. It acted according to the witch's wishes, helping clean and watch naughty kids and just generally a well-behaved skeleton. Well, it also learned some magic along with the students while it was here. After about five years, a boy attending Hogwarts was being a jerk to some girl in the hall, and the skeleton discovered him being a fuckboy. It went berserk, and the kid was admitted into the hospital wing, terrified. The skeleton went missing."

Phil's eyes were wide. "Then what?"

"The witch that created the skeleton confessed it had been acting odd lately, and so the staff went looking for it. During this time, in October, the skeleton raised more skeletons from the ground to join him. The skeleton was obsessed with one thought: to eradicate boys acting like jerks. He'd had enough of boys that rattled his ribcage and made messes in the hall just so he'd have to clean them up. After rallying several thousand skeletons across Britain, they marched back to Hogwarts to start their conquest."

Phil gasped. "Against the…the f-boys?"

"Precisely. Now, the kid might've been a fuckboy, but he was still a student, and so were the rest of them. Keep in mind that fuckboy doesn't just apply to boys–there were also girls that acted like fuckboys. Anyway, they stormed the castle. It was the staff versus the skeletons. They managed to destroy most, except one…the original skeleton. It hid and swore revenge. Now, every October, the skeletons rally to fight fuckboys all over the world. Especially on Halloween night…they rise to take revenge and prove their worth."

"Is this legend true?" Phil squeaked, hugging Susan.

"As long as you don't act like a fuckboy, you're safe from the skeletons," Dan laughed. "I don't think you have to worry, Phil."

"Still…" Phil gulped. He then turned to the pumpkins. "On Halloween, we Muggles carve scary faces into pumpkins and then put candles in them to decorate. We also go from door to door saying 'Trick or Treat!' and the people at the house give you candy. You have to dress up in a costume, though, or else they don't give you the candy."

"Sounds weird," Dan mused, turning over a pumpkin. "Muggles are strange."

"You all are the ones responsible for this annual skeleton war!"

"Don't diss the skeletons! That's a fuckboy move!"

Phil made a face. "I don't think trick-or-treating is going to work while we're at Hogwarts, though," he sighed. "Or haunted housing. I really wanted to go this year, too."

"Haunted housing?" Dan asked.

"You go to a house someone's rigged with spooky things and people dressed as scary things," Phil explained. "You walk through and the purpose is to scare you."

Dan scoffed. "Sounds silly. I'd never get scared from something like that."

Phil raised an eyebrow. "Wanna bet?"

"You're on."

"Fine." Phil stood, grinning. "I'll construct a haunted house here next to the lake. On Halloween night, you and I will go through the house and if you don't get scared, I'll do all your Herbology homework for a week."

"Fine," Dan said. "You can get as many people to help you with it as you want. In the unlikely event I do get scared, I'll do your Potions homework for a week."

"Deal." The pair shook hands.

"Now," Phil smiled, picking up a pumpkin, "these pumpkins won't carve themselves!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dan walked out to the lake. It was dark already, and slightly chilly.

It was Halloween night.

At Phil's insistence, he'd worn a costume. He was dressed as Jack Skellington from a Muggle movie Phil had made him watch. He glanced at his watch as he stopped under the tree Phil had directed him to go to. Phil was late.

"Welcome, Dan." Phil's voice made him turn around. Phil was dressed in a tux, with striped pants. Phil was blushing slightly, but Dan couldn't think why.

"Are you ready to enter the haunted house?" Phil was trying to lower his voice and sound scary, but it wasn't really having the desired effect. Dan had to stifle a giggle.

"Yeah, but Phil, what are you dressed as? Why the tux?"

"Louise," Phil answered, his voice slightly higher pitched, "likes to play jokes on me."

Dan, bewildered, allowed himself to be led away toward the haunted house. He had to admit it looked good, dark and ominous. "Who all helped you with this?"

"Several people," Phil hinted mysteriously, pulling on Dan's hand. "You go first. Into the main hall."

As he entered, several bats shrieked and flew away. He took a moment to admire the black chandelier hanging overhead before the door slammed behind him, effectively locking him in.

"Phil?" the other boy was nowhere to be seen. Very well…if Phil wanted to play this way, then he'd do it. He approached a sign stationed in the middle of the great hall. It read:

 _Beware, traveler, for where you stand_

 _Is where a nation crumbled into the land_

 _You may stand tall now, but beware:_

 _Before you leave, we'll have the last scare._

"The hell?" he mumbled, before feeling the ground shake and he turned just as a hand popped out of the ground. A low wailing noise could be heard: "Daniel…"

"Shit, zombies, really?" he muttered, turning to sprint up the staircase. As he reached the top, there was another sign:

 _She lies in wait for those who flee_

 _To be consumed, your fate is to be;_

 _For those who will listen, please take heed:_

 _This woman is not one you wish to meet._

The groaning grew louder behind him, and a slimy hand pressed against his shoulder made him whip around. Shit. Shit. They were close. How did the move so fast?

As if that wasn't enough, he heard a cackling screech down the hall. A glowing woman rose from the ground, laughing hysterically. "Daniel!" she shrieked. "Come! I will rip out your throat and feast on your entrails!"

"No, thanks," he managed, before turning to sprint as she wailed and flew toward him.

"Door, door, please, Phil, give me a goddamn door!" Muttering, he finally found an unlocked one and slammed it shut, bolting it behind him. He heard shrieks and pounding, but they slowly faded.

He turned his attention to the room he'd entered. It appeared to be the kitchen. A sign stood next to the refrigerator:

 _Congratulations for making it this far_

 _I believe now is the time to raise the bar_

 _And see now if you can run away, not to,_

 _He who plans to use you_

 _As the main ingredient in his next stew._

"Goddammit, Phil," Dan groaned as he saw a whisk placed in front of the sign. "Really?"

Just as he said that, a knife grazed his head and became embedded into the wall next to him. Turning slowly, he found a bloody chef grinning at him.

"You're just in time for dinner, Daniel!" He cackled, lifting another knife. "You'll love today's special!"

"I'm a vegan," he managed, before dodging another sharp knife. He was inwardly cursing Phil, who was no doubt laughing at him.

Picking up the whisk, Dan threw it at the chef, who ducked, which gave Dan enough time to flee into the next room.

"Okay, what's next?" he muttered, looking around. He appeared to be in a children's nursery. The sign in front of him read:

 _To come this far, you are certainly skilled_

 _But now you shall surely be killed,_

 _For the children here that lie in wait_

 _Have a thirst for blood only you can sate._

"Ooh, look at me, my name's Phil and I can use fancy words like 'sate'," Dan grumbled.

"It's actually not that hard of a word," Phil spoke from behind him, and Dan whirled around.

"Can you stop coming up from behind me?"

"Why? Did I scare you?" Phil grinned.

Dan rolled his eyes. "Where are these children you spoke about?"

"Who knows?" Phil was grinning wolfishly, eyes gleaming. "You've practically sprinted through the first portion of the house, but you've got a lot to go. How do you like it?"

"Are you the one writing these signs? Did they have to rhyme?" Dan waved toward the sign.

"Hey, I worked hard on those!"

"Why're you here now?"

"Just popped in to see how you were doing. I'll leave you to your–" Phil was cut off as a slow breeze rustled the room, and a clattering noise was heard.

Dan rolled his eyes again. "Is this your children thing?"

Phil looked confused. "No…"

A door slid open behind them, and both were shocked to see a skeleton standing there in battle armor.

"Phil," Dan whispered, "please tell me that this is part of your haunted house."

"No." Phil squeaked, his eyes wide. "No skeletons were included in the making of this house."

"Then what…"

"Fuckboy," the skeleton chattered with its teeth, "you have questioned the skeletons, and shall stand trial."

Before either boy could speak, the skeleton shot forward and grabbed Phil's arms. Dan jerked, then his eyes narrowed. "Hey–!"

"Da–!" in just a split second, the skeleton was gone…and so was Phil.

"Phil!" Dan shouted, alone in the empty room. No children rose to continue the haunted house pranks. All was quiet.

"Phil!" Dan had never been more terrified in his life. The skeleton war was just supposed to be a myth…

He ran out, back into the main hall, where the zombies and ghost were both gone. Everything was eerily quiet.

" _Phil!"_ He screamed again, then realizing there was a faint noise coming from somewhere. He listened intently.

"Dan!"

He whirled around. Where was it coming from?

"Dan!"

He started running through the house, not paying attention to any of the decorations anymore. Finally, he heard it clearly: " _Dan!"_

Dan kicked open a door and found himself in the back of the house, in the garden.

Phil was nowhere to be seen. Several skeletons were digging at something in the back.

"Move!" he cried, pushing the skeletons aside. Before him was a freshly dug grave, with a tombstone reading…

…Phil Lester.

"Phil!" Fear coursed through him, giving him adrenaline as he dug into the fresh dirt, until his nails hit a black coffin.

Frantically, he opened the coffin, only to see Phil's cold, pale face. His eyes were open in terror, his mouth open, but he did not move, as if he'd been petrified.

Dan had never known fear before that moment. "Phil!"

A skeleton grabbed him, and he struggled, another skeleton coming over to restrain him. They dragged him away from the coffin, and he screamed.

A cloaked figure slowly walked forward. It inspected Phil's grave, disturbed by Dan, then turned and walked toward him.

"Why do you interfere?"

"What did you do to Phil?!"

"He said something only a fuckboy would say. This was his sentence. Do you want the same fate?"

"Let him _go!_ "

"Daniel James Howell," the figure leaned forward, and shivers went down Dan's spine. "I have only one thing to say to you."

He stared back defiantly.

"…Happy Halloween."

Dan blinked. "What?"

The figure raised a wand, and waving it, the skeletons dropped. Dan heard a gasp from the coffin and he raced forward, finding Phil getting up.

"Dan? What happened?"

"Phil! You're okay!"

"I remember a skeleton…and then…"

Both turned toward the figure, which threw back its hood to reveal none other than their Headmaster.

"Professor Kjellberg?"

"Hello, boys!" he chirped. "Did I scare you well? What did you think?"

"I don't understand," Dan said slowly.

"It's simple. I heard of your little bet–which the whole school is betting on, by the way–and decided I'd join in the fun. Naturally, the best way was to use the old skeleton war myth."

"So…it wasn't real?" Phil asked.

"No, of course not," Professor Kjellberg laughed. "After Phil had his fun with his haunted house, I enchanted a few fake skeletons to kidnap and bury Phil. I stunned him and placed him in the coffin. It was the only way I could scare the pants off both Phil and you, Dan."

"But Dan wasn't kidnapped," Phil stated, confused. "Why was he scared?"

Dan turned red.

"In any case, I got both of you," he cackled. "This was an enjoyable Halloween. Now, why don't you two run along to the Great Hall? There's a great Halloween party going on."

Dan helped Phil up, and both looked at the Headmaster. "You got us, sir," Phil admitted, smiling. "Thanks for that. I guess the bet's invalid now."

"Why?" Dan asked, turning to him.

"The bet was whether you'd get scared. According to Professor Kjellberg, you did get scared, but I wasn't the one that scared you."

"Fair enough." Dan turned to the Headmaster. "Happy Halloween, Professor."

Felix watched the pair disappear into the castle, then turned toward a skeleton emerging from the haunted house. "They still believe it to be a legend."

"That is for the best," the skeleton chattered. "I must go, Felix. My troops are standing ready to march on. We have a busy night."

"Farewell," the Headmaster told him, watching as the skeleton disappeared into the Halloween night.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **This is the silliest thing I've ever written, and I apologize for nothing.**

 **Hope you liked it! What else did you expect from a dan and phil Hogwarts Halloween?**

 **Let me know what you think!**

 **Bye now.**


	7. Christmas Special

Dan stood in front of the doors to Hogwarts, watching Phil collect his trunk and Susan.

Phil turned to him. "Won't you go home for Christmas, Dan?"

He shook his head. It wasn't that he didn't like his family, it was just that his parents were overseas for the holidays and his family was scattered. So he'd told his mum that he'd just stay at Hogwarts for Christmas.

Winter break had started that morning, and Phil was leaving for the holidays. Dan would be lying if he said he wouldn't miss him. He hadn't been at Hogwarts without Phil yet.

The castle was already mostly empty. Students had left early that morning. Phil had decided to leave later in the day to properly say goodbye.

"Well…" Phil trailed off. "Send me plenty of owls, won't you? It's only for a couple weeks. Plus, I'm sure Amber would appreciate the exercise."

Dan could only nod. He was trying to keep stoic. Truth be told, he didn't want Phil to leave. He wanted to spend his first Christmas at Hogwarts with him, but Phil had to go visit his family.

Phil reached forward to give Dan a hug. Dan squeezed him back tightly. "Don't get undressed on the train, Phil."

Phil laughed, not letting go. "I won't. I'll be careful."

The pair stood there for a moment, before Dan finally pulled back regretfully. "You're gonna miss your train at this pace, dummy."

"Yeah. I'll see you later, Dan. Happy Christmas."

"Happy Christmas, Phil."

With that, Phil turned to the street and left Dan standing at Hogwarts's entrance alone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Three days until Christmas.

Dan hadn't left his bed since Phil had gone home. He just slept and occasionally wandered down to the Great Hall, which still provided delicious food for the students that remained during the holidays.

Every so often, he'd see another student that decided to stay at Hogwarts and he'd put his head down. He didn't really feel like talking to anyone.

The only other thing he did was go up to the owlery and say hello to Amber. She'd hoot at him and ruffle her feathers, waiting for a letter to send. For some reason, Dan never gave her one. He just couldn't bring himself to send a letter. But three days before Christmas, he received his first letter from Phil:

 _Dear Dan,_

 _How're thing at Hogwarts? I bet it's beautiful around Christmas. I only got to see a few of the decorations, but I bet you're enjoying the lights. Or you're holed up in your room and won't come out. Try to go outside, won't you?_

 _Things are well at home. I don't enjoy getting my face squished between my relatives' fingers, but it's nice to see my parents. I told them about you. They wish you well, and mum says to tell you she'll make you a pie._

 _On the train back home, I met a rather tired girl. She fell asleep on the ride and kept muttering stuff under her breath. Susan jumped on her head and she screamed. I had to explain to the conductor why a ferret was tangled in a girl's hair. Oops. At least all my clothes were on._

 _Please reply soon. I miss you and Hogwarts already. Try to get out and do something fun for Christmas. I'll see you soon._

 _Phil_

Dan set down the letter.

He didn't know how many times he'd read it. Every time he tried to pick up a quill and write back, he couldn't find the words. What could he say? Phil was so honest and his letter made Dan miss him more.

 _I miss you,_ Dan wanted to write, but he couldn't. So instead he just didn't send a letter.

He did take Phil's advice. Phil was right–Hogwarts was beautiful this time of year. He hadn't even noticed before Phil had written. Lights were strung, gigantic trees decorated the Great Hall, and even the ghosts were singing old Christmas carols. Snow fell outside, and frost clung to the windowpanes. All of the fireplaces were lit with roaring fires, and tinsel and holly were hung around the halls.

Dan went outside. Despite the cold, it was pretty. The snow was glistening and soft rays from the sun filtered through the trees and made everything glitter. Laughter rung from where a couple second-years were having a snowball fight.

Dan then trudged toward the Quidditch field. It, too, was sprinkled in snow. He enjoyed the soft crunching sound his feet made on the ground. Stopping in front of the hoops, he kicked the ground a little, shuffling up the snow. He sighed.

"Something wrong?" A voice spoke from the sky.

Dan jumped and looked up. To his astonishment, the headmaster sat there, perched on a broom. He had a bright green jumper on, and a scarf wrapped around his neck. His blue eyes twinkled from his seat.

"Professor! Um…"

He lowered and hopped off of his broom. "Beautiful morning, isn't it? I love this time of year."

Dan nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Yeah."

Professor Kjellberg paused. "You seem lonely this morning, Dan."

He froze. _Is it that obvious?_

"Um, well, it's pretty quiet around here."

The headmaster seemed to take this in, then looked up at the sky. "How about a few rounds?"

"What?"

"Quidditch. You play, don't you?"

Dan could only stare in astonishment. "Uh. Yeah. But, Professor…you…you play?"

"Are you kidding? I was quite the Keeper when I went to Hogwarts. That was only a few years ago."

"Well…" it was better than lying around being sad. Plus, how many students could say they played against the headmaster? "Okay."

Professor Kjellberg wasn't kidding. He was good at Quidditch. Dan fancied himself a pretty good Chaser, despite his inexperience, but the headmaster was excellent. He scored point after point. Dan couldn't believe it.

Afterwards, they landed on the ground of the field. "Professor, I didn't know you were that good," Dan stammered.

"Thank you. But, Dan, you're pretty good yourself. You're only a first-year?"

"Yes. Should I even be using a broom?"

Professor Kjellberg laughed and waved it off. "It's Christmas."

Dan found himself smiling. He hadn't smiled since Phil left.

"There's the smile." The headmaster turned towards Dan. "Would you like to walk with me back to the castle?"

"Sure."

So the pair made their way back to Hogwarts. Dan looked around on their way. Dusk was settling. As the last rays of the sun made their way across the snow-sprinkled lawn, the Christmas lights began to twinkle to life. Dan gazed at the castle and caught his breath. Phil was right. It was spectacular.

"Mr. Lester went home for Christmas, then?"

Dan turned toward the other man. He was gazing at the castle, too, but his eyes were still sparkling. "What?"

"Your friend, Phil Lester. I didn't see him around."

"No…Phil went home."

As they entered Hogwarts, the professor suddenly stopped in front of the Great Hall. "What would you like for Christmas, Dan?"

He looked at the professor, surprised. "Uh. I don't know. I hadn't really thought of it."

"I see."

Silence stretched across the corridor. Dan finally turned to look at the professor. A smile was settled on his features. "I'll see you on Christmas, Dan."

He nodded. "See you, Professor."

Dan left Professor Kjellberg standing in the corridor, looking thoughtfully at the decorations in the hall.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was Christmas Eve.

Dan was sitting on his bed, another letter in his hand. It was from Phil.

 _Dear Dan,_

 _Have you sent a letter yet? I can't wait to hear what you've been doing. Is Hogwarts lit up? I wish I could see it._

 _All my family's come down. It's been so busy around here. To be honest, I'm kind of bored. I keep seeing things you'd make a snarky comment about or laugh at, and I turn to tell you, but you're not there. I keep forgetting._

 _I suppose you're laughing at me right now, but that's okay. It's my job. And it's Christmas, after all. By the way, I hope you like your present._

 _I miss you._

 _Say hi to Amber for me. See you soon._

 _Phil_

Dan put the letter down. He could feel his throat start to constrict. If he could be honest with himself, he was lonely.

He just wanted to see Phil.

As it grew darker, he just sat in his room. Phil's words kept swimming around in his mind. I miss you.

"I miss you, too," Dan murmured, his voice cracking.

Suddenly, something bit his nose.

" _Ow!_ Damn, what the hell?!" He sat up.

Susan was sitting on his bed.

Dan stared at her.

"Susan?" he whispered.

Susan looked at him resignedly. She suddenly jumped off the bed, scurrying toward the door.

"Wait!" Dan jumped up and ran after her. "Wait! Susan! How the hell did you get here? Wait!"

He chased her out of the Slytherin common room and around Hogwarts. He followed her out of the dungeon and across the corridors right into the Great Hall.

He threw the door open.

He hit someone with the door.

"Ow!"

"Shit! Sorry!"

"Dan?"

" _Phil?!"_

Just as the clock struck midnight, Dan found himself face-to-face with Phil, who was holding his arm as he smiled brighter than Dan had ever seen.

Susan jumped up on Phil's shoulder smugly.

Phil looked up as the Christmas tree in the hall lit up. "Happy Christmas, Dan."

He was speechless. Finally, he threw his arms around Phil and hugged him tightly, finally managing the words: "Happy Christmas, Phil."

"Why are you crying?"

"Shut up, I'm not."

"Come on, I have your present for you."

"How on earth did you even get here? Why are you here?"

Phil laughed. "Christmas miracle?"

"You're so full of shit."

Phil nudged a present toward him. "Here."

Dan took it and opened it. Inside was a handmade sweater with a Snitch on it. It was black.

"I'm not very good at knitting," Phil said regretfully, "and I know you want to be a Chaser, not a Seeker, but I thought it'd be nice."

Dan looked up at him. "Thank you, Phil. I love it." He suddenly remembered. "Your present is still up in my room!"

Phil laughed. "It's okay. You can give it to me later."

"Phil…what are you doing here?"

He looked down. "You didn't write."

Dan felt his chest constrict. "I–"

"I know, Dan. You couldn't." Phil looked at him, and he was smiling. "But to be perfectly honest, I missed you. I wanted to be with you for Christmas."

He didn't know what to say. Did Phil know how much this meant to him? What about Phil's family? How did Phil get here?

And he suddenly found that he didn't care.

He didn't care.

Phil was here. He was here for Christmas, and that's all that mattered.

Phil nudged him. "C'mon. Let's go get some eggnog."

"Ew, Phil…"

"It's either that or Christmas caroling."

"Okay, okay, you win."

They both heard a shuffling and turned to see Professor Kjellberg pouring some eggnog at the main table. He smiled at them. "Today's a big day, boys. Better eat up."

Honestly, Dan wasn't even surprised anymore.

They walked over, and Phil started drinking eggnog and piling food on his plate, blabbing about this and that. Dan, however, was watching the headmaster. He walked over to him.

"Did you like my Christmas present to you?" Professor Kjellberg asked.

"What?"

The headmaster smiled and put down the pitcher. "Happy Christmas, boys," he said as he walked out, winking at Dan as he disappeared.

"I don't get him," Dan muttered.

"Hey, Dan."

He turned around to face his friend. "Yeah?"

"Are the lights as beautiful as I thought?"

Dan grinned, taking a seat next to Phil in front of the Christmas tree. "Yeah, Phil. They're absolutely magical."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **A bit late for Christmas, but still fun, right? I hope you liked it!**

 **(Merry belated Christmas!)**

 **Let me know what you think!**

 **Bye now.**


End file.
